May 2013
1 post
May 13th
22 notes
April 2013
7 posts
Apr 30th
61 notes
Apr 23rd
5 notes
Apr 17th
1,679 notes
Anonymous asked: who did Britney spears cheat on Justin Timberlake with?
Apr 16th
15 notes
Episode 4: Josh Patten!
theneedtofail: This episode features a great interview by Josh Patten (SNL Weekend Update, UCB’s Grandma’s Ashes)! Check it out: http://theneedtofail.libsyn.com/webpage Please rate and review it on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-need-to-fail-podcast/id604486915?mt=2 Thanks to Josh Patten and sound guru James Leggero!  Spread the word!   My voice!
Apr 9th
15 notes
Apr 8th
4 notes
Apr 8th
130 notes
March 2013
3 posts
Mar 6th
21 notes
Mar 5th
35 notes
“A young girl plays by the river and was frightened by her father in the river...”
– The beginning of the Wikipedia plot summary to Journey to the West: Conquering the Demons, this year’s highest-grossing film to date.
Mar 4th
6 notes
February 2013
6 posts
Feb 21st
3 notes
nicolemarietherese: If I succeed in nothing else as the director of this Spank, I can rest in the accomplishment of having finished an efficient tech at 1:11am and having been home by 1:47am. Alex Adan gets a lot of credit for this one too. (Complete History of Women’s History by Molly Thomas and me, tomorrow at 6:30pm at UCB paired with Aaron & Brian Present Erik Dies, You’re Stupid and...
Feb 21st
18 notes
Hear Me Out, Episode 1 →
I had the honor of being Alden Ford and Winston Noel’s first guest on their podcast, wherein peeps defend guilty pleasure songs. I can be found in the above link defending Sting’s “Desert Rose” in a podcast in no way affiliated with Jaguar or Tantric sex.
Feb 13th
9 notes
Mardi Gras Grand Marshals, 1974-present →
winstonnoel: joshpatten: Guys, let’s all talk about this list. For starters, imagine a conversation between 1989 Fred Savage and 1989 Hall and 1989 Oates. 1974: Doc Severinsen 1975: Dyan Cannon, Bobby Vinton 1976: Alice Cooper, Wolfman Jack, Jerry Vale 1977: Gino Vanelli, Penny Marshall, Cindy Williams, Vikki Carr 1978: Cheryl Ladd, Wayne Newton, Fats Domino 1979: Charo, KC and the...
Feb 7th
8 notes
Mardi Gras Grand Marshals, 1974-present →
Guys, let’s all talk about this list. For starters, imagine a conversation between 1989 Fred Savage and 1989 Hall and 1989 Oates. 1974: Doc Severinsen 1975: Dyan Cannon, Bobby Vinton 1976: Alice Cooper, Wolfman Jack, Jerry Vale 1977: Gino Vanelli, Penny Marshall, Cindy Williams, Vikki Carr 1978: Cheryl Ladd, Wayne Newton, Fats Domino 1979: Charo, KC and the Sunshine Band ...
Feb 7th
8 notes
Feb 6th
14 notes
January 2013
4 posts
the Anthony King: The UCBTNY "Controversy" →
chriskelly: anthonyking: Hey everybody! I’m having a slow day at my TV writing job that I got thanks largely to the training and experience and connections I got at the UCB Theatre in New York (AND ALSO MY OWN TALENT!! LET’S NOT FORGET HOW TALENTED I AM! I BUILT THIS!). So… as a former UCBTNY performer and… A big ol’ yes to everything Anthony said here. The UCB Theatre changed my life and...
Jan 28th
132 notes
Jan 22nd
5 notes
Jan 12th
10 notes
Jan 9th
73 notes
December 2012
5 posts
Noah'r to Run, Noah'r to Hide: A long post about... →
noahforman: December 11, 2009 marked the first night of Chanukah as well as dad’s 57th birthday. By that point he was already in fast decline, suffering from a rather obscure disease known as Scleroderma. Scleroderma (a word frequently butchered by my dad’s queens accent) is a rare auto-immune disease that… Miller Forman is great and this is wonderful.
Dec 12th
66 notes
Dec 10th
9 notes
Dec 10th
25 notes
Dec 8th
3 notes
Dec 6th
10 notes
November 2012
3 posts
Aaron Laughs With Cancer: Laughing With Cancer,... →
aaronlaughswithcancer: When Lance Armstrong fell from grace a few weeks ago, I didn’t really care. I’ve always appreciated him for the icon he is, for the modern miracle of his health and success, but when I think of Lance Armstrong, I think of three things: bracelets, Michelob Ultra, and high-fiving Matthew… I know Aaron through his twitter account and I suggest you read this.
Nov 30th
169 notes
Nov 27th
30 notes
“Lastly, he married Beverly Cunningham (an international model) in 1986.”
– The best parenthetical phrase on all of Wikipedia, as featured on the Shadoe Stevens entry.
Nov 14th
3 notes
October 2012
5 posts
31 Days of #31DaysOfBillyJoelHalloweenCostumeIdeas
Over on Twitter I’ve spent all month coming up with a daily Billy Joel pun costume idea. Some are good, some are bad, and most lie in between. Let’s table the discussion on what it means that one of my long-running “projects” was to come up with a cheap pun everyday and instead take a look at #31DaysOfBillyJoelHalloweenCostumeIdeas in the order of their appearance: ...
Oct 31st
15 notes
Oct 17th
6 notes
Oct 17th
4 notes
Oct 10th
25 notes
“I’m sorry, Jim. I’m going to stop the subsidy to PBS. I’m going to stop other...”
– Mitt Romney Lost in the Big Bird hoopla is “I actually like you too”, a masterful job of Romney negging Jim Lehrer.
Oct 4th
12 notes
September 2012
1 post
“Although he never married, Pacino has three children.”
– The hands down best quote from Al Pacino’s Wikipedia page
Sep 11th
4 notes
August 2012
4 posts
Anonymous asked: Congrats on SNL!! That's so unbelievably awesome. I'm wondering--will you still perform with Grandma's Ashes weekly with this new job?
Aug 30th
11 notes
Thanks
(Note: A lot of this is UCB-centric, but I hope it applies more universally.) This comedy shit is hard. It’s hard to sacrifice money and free time to do an improv practice session when you are tired and busy. It’s hard to head out to do an 11PM indie show when you have to get up to work the next morning.  It’s hard to keep going when you have a crappy show, or a sketch that just...
Aug 24th
175 notes
Aug 15th
9 notes
Aug 5th
7 notes
July 2012
10 posts
Jul 26th
5 notes
Jul 22nd
2 notes
Jul 18th
9 notes
“My regret is that I felt invincible when young and smoked cigarettes when I knew...”
– From the touching, hilarious and brilliant self-authored obituary of Val Patterson (please click and read the whole thing, it’s fantastic) This Saturday will mark one year since my last cigarette. Quitting is, hands down, the best thing I have ever done for myself. If you happen to be a...
Jul 18th
11 notes
Jul 16th
15 notes
Jul 10th
2 notes
My Dumb Romney Bit Prompts New York Times to...
For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you probably know that I’ve had a long running bit that Mitt Romney is running for President due to a soul-devouring desire to use the office as a means of developing potent dyes for his graying sideburns. The bit started back in February—I was trying to picture Romney, and realized that his only distinguishable feature are his frost-kissed...
Jul 9th
22 notes
Happy Birthday, Mom! →
chriskelly: You were/are the best. If any of you haven’t read Reasons I Love My Mother, please click on the above for one of the most beautiful and loving things I have ever read. Chris, thanks so much for this, and happy birthday to your Mom.
Jul 8th
27 notes
Jul 6th
18 notes
“In 2010, the research group said it had found bones that appeared to be part of...”
–  — From the Wikipedia entry for Amelia Earhart, who disappeared 75 years ago today. I don’t think the University of Oklahoma is good at testing DNA, at least on the “human or sea turtle? front.
Jul 2nd
2 notes
June 2012
5 posts
Jun 27th
2 notes