February 2012
5 posts
Real quick thing about Fuck That Shit
Last night, an improv team I am lucky enough to perform on, Fuck That Shit, lost UCB’s Cagematch to young upstarts North Coast (congrats guys! Everyone else, check them out next Thursday vs. Mr. Crime!).
I’m a little bummed about this because I had so much fun performing with Don Fanelli, Dru Johnston, Tim Martin, Kate Riley and Terry Withers during our 5 week run at Cagematch (and...
During What Movie Did Alanis Morissette Go Down On...
Alanis Morissette’s 1995 hit “You Oughta Know” famously describes her previous relationship with Dave Coulier. While Alanis remains tight-lipped on the subject, Uncle Joey has confirmed this urban legend to be fact, which makes this line tremendously gross:
I want you to know, that I’m happy for you I wish nothing but the best for you both An older version of me Is she...
January 2012
5 posts
One Year
I remember exactly how Mom’s voice sounded when she told me Dad died, exactly where I was standing, what I was wearing, the feel of snow on the ground as I walked to UCB to do this show, where I was sitting on my couch afterwards, staying up late to catch an early flight to Florida, what it felt like to hug my mom, to see my siblings, the taste of the hard candy in the funeral...
“Murray is the Buchmans’ border collie mix dog and a fan...”
– From the Wikipedia entry for Mad About You. Critical use of the “generally” qualifier, as it takes into account the season 5 episode (“The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing but the Woof”) where Murray alerted the FBI about Ira’s financial support of radical Islamists.
Know Everything!
improvnonsense:
I get in trouble for saying that because I deliberately say it in a jerk manner. KNOW EVERYTHING. When someone says “I didn’t know the movie my partner was mentioning” I’ll sometimes say “Well, you don’t HAVE to know it but it would be easier if you knew it.”
And then people are like “Why do I have to like Star Wars?”
And I say “Who said anything about Star Wars?”
“All these...
December 2011
6 posts
2011
2011 was the year my dad died, I quit my job, started a few great relationships, quit smoking (5 months and change!), performed on some great improv teams, ended a few great relationships, made a lot of huge mistakes, hopefully helped a lot of people by coaching a ton of improv, told my family that I love them more often, joined a sketch team, made a lot of behavioral changes in response to...
WatchLast night comedy heartthrob Don Fanelli and I performed as The Billy Joels at the Brooks Brothers Christmas Clambake at UCB, singing an updated “We Didn’t Start The Fire” that summarizes 2011’s news and Mr. Joel’s death spiral. Lyrics are below—gather around the glowing box with the rest of your hobo friends/future murderers and sing along to the above video!...
WEDNESDAY: The 2011 IT SUCKED! Awards @ UCBeast →
An exposition of 2011’s greatest goofs, gaffes, and boners, featuring Neil Casey, Dan Chamberlain, Nicole Drespel, Brian Glidewell, Will Hines, Kara Klenk, Andrew Law, Jesse Lee, Josh Patten, Giulia Rossi, & Abra Tabak.
10PM; Free.
I am very, very excited about this show.
“In some ways, comedy is fortifying its place in New York City culture: Theaters...”
– TimeOut NY’s summary of comedy in New York in 2011. Hm. Interesting. (via iamachilles)
The Improv Jam, tonight at 11PM at UCB East (153 East 3rd St.). Hosted by Grandma’s Ashes. INDUSTRY WILL BE THERE.
November 2011
1 post
How To Save The Rick Perry Campaign
Rick Perry’s presidential campaign is in crisis mode after Wednesday night’s GOP debate flub, when the Texas Governor could only name two of the three federal departments he promises to eliminate if elected. Perry has already made the talk show rounds to redeem himself, but long term electoral success can only come by embracing, not running from, the perception that Rick Perry is Some...
October 2011
6 posts
5 Things I Love This Morning
1) The Improv Jam: Every Wednesday at 11PM, Grandma’s Ashes, the improv team I am lucky to be a part of, gets the opportunity to host an open Improv Jam at the UCB East Village theatre. Anybody can drop their name in a bucket and get a chance to do a set of improv—it’s fun, loose, and goofy, and each week has been bigger and better than the last.
2) The Cassini probe: This...
Wherein I Tell You How To Live Your Life
If you’re a fan of looking at me do stuff on stage, and then trying to say hello to me after I do stuff on stage only to be met with my awkward looks and clipped, weird attempts at human dialogue, this week is right up your alley! Here are the big things:
1) Fuck That Shit (A Comedy Team) defends our CageMatch title at 11PM on Thursday, October 27th at UCB
Reservations Here:...
“Martin believes that he doesn’t know what he’s doing. The other...”
– The Wikipedia page for Captain Ron: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Ron
I think we as a society spend too much of our time being Martins and not enough time being Other Family Members.
Why Improv?
(I normally don’t say things like this while coaching improv, but I loosely said the following to a group I coached today (Dos Mimosas, a young and extremely talented group—they have a show at Triple Crown this Sunday at 8PM—go to it!) and it strikes me as true and I needed to jot it down before I forget it)
Why are we here? Why are we doing improv? Why? I know there are a...
September 2011
6 posts
2 Months
Walking through the city this morning, I realized it’s been 2 months and 10+ hours since I quit smoking. During the first few days and weeks of quitting, I could tell you, almost to the minute, how long I’d been smoke-free, so it’s a nifty and, I guess, positive sign that the exact two month anniversary (1:24AM this morning) passed by without any mental fanfare on my part.
I...
Improv Nonsense: YES over AND →
improvnonsense:
When people are new to improv, all they notice are the ANDs. “Did you hear that line?” “What a great move!” “How did they think to say X?”
But once you’ve done it a while, you appreciate much more people who can just say YES: “He re-states the most important part,” “She keeps the idea alive,” “He…
A million times yes to this.
August 2011
1 post
Anonymous asked: josh patten nicotine gum?
July 2011
1 post
June 2011
1 post
May 2011
2 posts
Happy Birthday Mom
My mom was born on May 5th, 1942. Here are 69 things I love about her (Number 67 is a tautology)
1) To dispense with the obvious, she’s my mom.
2) A few years ago, over dinner with some siblings and in-laws, the topic of strip clubs came up. “Oh, I’d go to a strip club,” Mom said. In response to our agape mouths, she continued, “What? I tried Dippin’ Dots for...
Ragnarock
Last night was Maggie Carey’s last Harold Night show with Ragnarock. It’s been an absolute honor, pleasure and privilege to play with Maggie for the last year, and I’ve learned so much from her ability and focus on supporting the hell out of everything at all times. Our team couldn’t be more excited about the bigger and better things that she’s moving on to, but...
April 2011
1 post
Messages
My phone broke last Saturday, before I had a chance to return a voicemail Mom had left earlier in the day. After spending a strange day without a phone, making eye contact with other human beings and noticing that Manhattan has an awful lot of interesting things to look at, I got a replacement on Monday and gave Mom a call. The answering machine picked up:
“Hello, you’ve reached the...
March 2011
4 posts
Anonymous asked: What are your favorite books? Books that you think have singularly made you a better and more intelligent person?
Sing a Song
On my walk home last night, a green SVU rolled slow down Washington Square East, blaring, at summertime raggaeton jam decibel levels, “Save the Best for Last”, by Vanessa Williams. After standing there for a moment, wishing the driver would back up and take me to wherever it is they were going, my thoughts turned to my mom and how everyone is capable of acting like an awful person.
I...
Good Days and Bad Days
(A quick disclaimer before jumping into what I want to say today: if anyone knows me only from this Tumblr, Good Lord, I must come off as a big ol’ pity party. I’ve found this is the right place for these longer stories about my family and other things, but they do lack the absolute goofball-ness of stuff I put up on other social media. Huge apology for not presenting a fuller...
February 2011
2 posts
Harold Night 1/18/11 (part 2 of 2)
(continued from part one)
In those last minutes before Ragnarock’s show, my anxiety took the form of a laundry list of “why nots”. There were plenty of reasons I felt hesitant to do the show I had asked my teammates and the theater to do, from the mundane (a Harold that doesn’t even ask the audience for a suggestion?) to the frightening (I really expect myself to go out...
Harold Night 1/18/11 (part 1 of 2)
(Most of you reading this probably already know the bulk of this story, but I feel compelled to write it up as a way of expressing my deep gratitude to a lot of people. And also I want to remember this night as well as I can.)
I was fortunate enough to have the chance to speak to my dad a few hours before he died. My sister Jeanine gave me a call on the morning of Tuesday, January 18th with news...
January 2011
2 posts
Larry Dale Patten (1941 - 2011)
This is my Dad’s obituary as it appeared in newspapers today:
PATTEN, LARRY DALE, 69 Ocala - Larry Dale Patten, 69, died peacefully on Tuesday, January 18, 2011 at Munroe Regional Medical Center following a brave battle with cancer. Born in Ossian, IN, he retired to Ocala in 2005 from Toledo, OH. He worked for Dana Corp. for 37 years. He was plant managaer at the Lugoff, SC and Curitiba,...
November 2010
1 post
Political Oversimplification!
I know doesn’t nearly cut the heart of everything that’s at stake in today’s election (which you should go vote in, dummy, if you already haven’t), but I think this comparison cuts to the quick of today’s choice:
From Barack Obama’s Election Night Speech, 11/4/08:
For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the...
October 2010
3 posts
Anonymous asked: Do you prefer red or green grapes?
Anonymous asked: Why are you so incredibly awesome?
September 2010
10 posts
The Horse
My Uncle Bob sent me a note after reading my post about my dad’s basketball prowess:
“In the 50’s I was on the varsity in 55, 56, & 57 your dad played in 58 & 59 on the radio your dad was referred to as the horse.”
So many details of this are fascinating and awesome to me, a 21st Century NBA fan who complains about Lebron James on Twitter. My dad played Indiana...
Back to Our Original Sisterly Programming
Pressed for time today, but I remembered today that my sister Jeanine, a high school history teacher for over a decade, gave me my first improv coaching gig. A few months before I moved to New York, she arranged for me to teach an improv workshop for her class. Number of firsts for me that day: first time teaching improv, first time teaching anything, and the first time I said “We got a...